No huge intro this time; well, just this: I've had an enormous amount of pine-kernel-nut-thing ice cream and I'm remembering a little more about a pair of certain individuals that I've yet to impregnate (not in a baby making form tho') into a written sort of creative manifestation. Here we go!
There ain't no real secret to the whole lobster killin' deed: it's just a matter o' wenchin' tight and reelin' even better for a long while. Then you gotta get a grip of it's sea-shelled-pawies until it goes leernish and slodgy. Thazzal!
Eggroll and Swampee trudged along the orange coastline, barefoot and singing to the midnight sunshine. Their shadows cast a rainbow projection on the tree-fold ceiling, and a couple of dobblers swung past, spraying them with yellow spit.
Eggroll waved furiously! But then remembered he actually fancied those fair coloured expectorated bubbles. The whole experience reminded him of when he was nearer to the ground and lived elsewhere (he had just recently moved to the place he lived nowadays) and that made him smile wider than ever... oh that other place where he grew down.
Swampee wasn't paying attention at all, he just bounced from pear to pear not thinking about the string theory or the chaos one either; Swampee hated particles and waves... especially on Sundays.
And so both carried on, yellow dotted and zig-zagging along the wavy road because of the many chewsters they found lying about (it's not very polite to stand on nature without a previous warning, or apology). They did so until the familiar fence appeared (that fence loved his little fence daughter, brother and wife), it creaked and let them into the pond zone. They strode and strode a little more because green was their fate for that evening.
Having laid down their expensive equipment, Swampee and Eggroll dismounted their imaginary kebabs and sat down to go through the plan once more before the big move.
-So now, listen good u mongrel. We have to be real silent, ya? These things have supersonic noses and can hear even better when they feel endangered. I is our duty to prevent that, get it buster?
-Of course I get it you retarded douchecouch! I MADE that plan a month ago, and you just read it on the way here! C'mon, we're already roaring our rear-ends outta the big catch... lezz move it!
They advanced, tiptoeing and flying once in a while (whenever wanting to believe they were capable of doing so... this happened gradually and on other days sporadically). And they also tiptoed some other 100 miles until achieving absolute exhaustion. After regaining consciousness they decided to drain cans of beans and therefore used the solids to create a beautifully decorated pan for cooking stones; they ate mud and fell asleep for an entire hour without breathing.
-Time's up donk king! Wakey fast 'coz the moon's about to shoot the sun for having stayed on top more than what's good for him.- Said Swampee
-I've been awake for more than 15 minutes slagger muser! Get on with the tying of the rope! We must finish the net before we get tired again and collapse involuntarily. Damn you narcolepsy it ain't funny!- Replied Eggroll
And that's how they used to address each other before the lobster killing, they did the same role every single time! Until they had it perfected right down to the last miserable line. Except for this time, because they had an extra character to deal with.
-Who's that that stares at my pong without my permission. It is very impolite to trespass into one's property without so much as bringing cake! It is even more impolite than stepping on nature!- Said a very acute voice behind some plastic bushes.
-Well it's us... the dinnies... But HEY who are YOU?! We've been coming here ever since we've had 2 tails, and nobody had we encountered on the befores!- Replied Eggroll, stuttering slightly.
-He he, you speak funny when you're nervous- Added Swampee, trying not to whisper as much, coz it annoys the plastic bushes.
-Shut it hazelbutt! I'm trying to clarify this present misunderstanding and you are acting like a black hole in a planet spiraling round an orbit that goes right after Saturn.-Muttered the other, and turned to the stranger- We're very sorry to disturb your apparent territorial belongings. We were just looking for some jilly willy lobsters to kill... it's not much fun, but there's overpopulation and they taste better than mud.-
-Very well... you may pass. But first let us have some tea and biscuits I stole from the last couple of visitors that stayed for supper and ended up locked in my basement. Shall we?-Said the gigantic and black bunny rat bit imposing his notorious presence right in front of them.
They both took their canes and ran away. No lobster killing for that day.
